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Naga Royal Guard 05-05-2012 05:51 PM

Excellent Hyundai i30 Review
 
This really hits the point home.

Grey curtains of rancid rain tickle the turbulent terrain of the East Midlands with the pure punch of headlong H2O. While experts spout about drought, here in the British hinterland the populous are fretfully fingering those downloaded diagrams for an aqueous ark. Yet Ďmidst the murk and moisture a single bright star spears across the leaden landscape, piercing precipitation with palpable power. Fear not, for this is no malign meteor nor catastrophic comet. The bright burst of brilliance that sears across this scene is no less than the candescent child of a glittering Korea for today I am helming Hyundaiís crucial new mid-range lynchpin, the i30.

The proud prow tells you much that you need to know about this bold new battler in the hotly contested C-segment. Fluid flourishes identify handsome headlamps that bestride a gaping grille as aggressive as a pissed off pit bull. Every swoop of steel and plunge of plastic firmly informs you that this baby means business. The friendly Focus and genteel Golf have just been invited to a hatchback hoedown. Question is, has the hearty Hyundai brought an under-damped knife to this ride-and-handling gun fight?

First impressions do not disappoint. Control surfaces quiver with quality in an interior refreshingly free of egregious ergonomics. Time to get pedalling. The motor fires up fast and settles to a bassy beat. This 1582cc engine may suckle from the black teat of diesel yet its thrum turns to hum as soon as the business pedal is mashed. Couple it to a six-speed gearbox as slick as a Brylcreemed eel and youíve got an irresistible recipe for powertrain poetry.

So it is that I find myself pedalling apace through the drowning diorama of the near-Kettering countryside, playing the gearlever like a vertical oboe and letting the motor do the torqueing. But now comes the big one. Can this honed Hyundai keep up the conversation when the twisties take a seat at the table? Time to fire this funster at some of the regionís ballsiest B-roads and see if it comes away crying.

I flow it into some searing switchbacks and feel roll being resisted as the Gs start to squeeze. The dynamic Ďdai grips like a gluey gorilla as the sassy chassis soaks up surfaces like steel sprung silica gel. The steering whispers wistfully with slivers of secrets about the suspensionís endeavours as I wind the wheelsmithery up to 11. Coming in hot to an especially luscious left hander I caress the apex and then slam shut the power pedal. All at once the Hyundaiís polished posterior comes out to play. I simply catch it with a dab of oppo and Iím away.

The Hyundai i30 Active 1.6 CRDi Blue Drive is a *****. And I spanked it.

Troy Queef is Executive Associate Editor-At-Large for DAB OF OPPO magazine

http://sniffpetrol.com/2012/05/04/troy120504/

swizzle 05-06-2012 02:04 PM

I will use that as a textbook example of how NOT to write.

Naga Royal Guard 05-06-2012 11:13 PM

I find it an excellent display of English most appropriate for it's subject material and its audience.

Caraholic 05-07-2012 02:47 AM

I wonder if the Focus is a better car over this one.

swizzle 05-07-2012 02:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naga Royal Guard (Post 437805)
I find it an excellent display of English most appropriate for it's subject material and its audience.

It's riddled with cliches and flowery language that FAILS to communicate. I edit books for a living and that is garbage. It's actually quite laughable

swizzle 05-07-2012 02:50 AM

quivering with quality is a particularly egregious example of the poor writing...David E. Davis was an idiot and a pedant.

Caraholic 05-07-2012 02:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swizzle (Post 437812)
quivering with quality is a particularly egregious example of the poor writing...David E. Davis was an idiot and a pedant.

Sizzle, which book do you recommend for learning grammar the right way?

swizzle 05-07-2012 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caraholic (Post 437813)
Sizzle, which book do you recommend for learning grammar the right way?

There are numerous ones out there. Check Amazon and choose one that seems right. Dropping that passage into a Flesch-Kincaid readability calculator, it comes back with a grade level of 10 (i.e. suitable for a 15-16 year old and a reading ease of 50. The former number is OK, but a reading level above 10 for something mass shared is unwise. The reading ease number should not be below 75. The higher the number the clearer the writing is. Thus the flowery words are impeding meaning to the point of being ridiculous. The writer is attempting to show how talented he is in using language, but in the process of his arrogance has written something that is not fully comprehensible on first read.

DoMiNo 05-07-2012 03:26 PM

I think that's the point. It's called "satire."

swizzle 05-08-2012 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoMiNo (Post 437849)
I think that's the point. It's called "satire."

Satire must also be comprehensible. Thus it fails at satire. Stick to your court cases and leave grammar to working editors.


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