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View Full Version : MOORHOUSE's GCSE exam paper


skodamotorsport
01-15-2005, 10:53 AM
Geography<p>Q: Name the four seasons.<br>A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.<p>Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.<br>A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.<p>Q: How is dew formed?<br>A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.<p>Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?<br>A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.<p>Sociology<p>Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?<br>A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.<p>Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?<br>A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.<p>Q: What are steroids?<br>A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.<p>Biology<p>Q: What happens to your body as you age?<br>A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.<p>Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?<br>A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.<p>Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?<br>A: Premature death.<p>Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?<br>A: Keep it in the cow. [She got an A]<p>Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised?<br>(e.g.abdomen.)<br>A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels,A,E,I,O and U.<p>Q: What is the Fibula?<br>A: A small lie.<p>Q: What does "varicose" mean?<br>A: Nearby.<p>Q: What is the most common form of birth control?<br>A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.<p>Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."<br>A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.<p>Q: What is a seizure?<br>A: A Roman emperor.<p>Q: What is a terminal illness?<br>A: When you are sick at the airport.<p>Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?<br>A:Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.<p>English<p>Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.<br>A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.<p>Q: What does the word "benign" mean?<br>A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.<p>Technology<p>Q : What is a turbine?<br>A : Something an Arab wears on his head. <p><B><U>*note this isnt really moorhouse's exam paper but those are real answers that people put for their GCSE exams*</B></U><BR><BR>
<i>Modified by MOORHOUSE at 6:24 PM 1/15/2005</i>

whipster
01-15-2005, 12:12 PM
haha <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/1orglaugh.gif" BORDER="0">

pcread
01-15-2005, 03:13 PM
excellent. almost restores your confidence in young people.<p>almost.

Flagship
01-15-2005, 03:45 PM
Nice one <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/laugh2.gif" BORDER="0"> <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/laugh2.gif" BORDER="0"> <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/laugh2.gif" BORDER="0"> <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/laugh2.gif" BORDER="0"> <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/laugh2.gif" BORDER="0"> <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/laugh2.gif" BORDER="0"> <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/laugh2.gif" BORDER="0"> <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/laugh2.gif" BORDER="0"> <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/laugh2.gif" BORDER="0"> <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/laugh2.gif" BORDER="0">

BMW rulez
01-15-2005, 07:31 PM
This is so hilarious. <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/1orglaugh.gif" BORDER="0"> <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/laugh2.gif" BORDER="0"> If I were the teacher I would give it a perfect <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.germancarfans.com/images/forums/banana.gif" BORDER="0">

hollc004
01-20-2005, 12:43 PM
well realisticlly they are not wrong answers lol

Reppu
01-21-2005, 12:32 AM
There are a couple on books published in Spain about real silly student answers. I remember when i had no idea at all about something at achool, and i was so naive to think i could invent something and make it look real....